Nerd Cred: One Girl's Quest

Final Fantasy (Wii Virtual Console) - Day 25 - “This game needs better tooltips.”

Alright, today we’re going to do it. We are going to get to the bottom of that ice cave! 

After going back to town and getting all rested up and stocked up on potions and cabins, we head back to the cave. Same boring stuff, and then we follow the fairy lights all the way down back to that first room with the third treasure that we couldn’t get to yesterday. We fight a frost dragon to get to it. And an eye. We kill them very easily.

“You guys…” Derp says, “Do you think that was a little too easy? I mean… I’m thinking maybe the orb isn’t in this box, you know?” Everyone tells him to shut up and open it, so he does. He finds a “Floater.” Everyone else resists making poop jokes. I read the tooltip, and it says something about some kind of rock. Wha? Really? Whatever, I need to finish exploring this cave and find the orb.

We move along and fight some kind of Frostipede, no probs, and we traverse across a lot of dangerous ground that hurts us a lot. No orbs anywhere. We have explored this entire cave. We head back to the surface, and back to town to rest up, since everyone has leveled again. Everyone is sitting around the table at the inn having a nice glass of hot cocoa when Derp says, “I don’t want to say I told you so, but…” “THEN DON’T” they all yell in unison, like some kind of terrible sitcom. The rest of the inn patrons oblige by laughing like a laugh track. The team decides to head back to that wizard town to see if they can get some better clues about where this orb is.

Back at the wizard town, everyone is as useless as ever. Although this one kid is all like, “I’ve searched something something for the floater! Canoe north to the ice cave!” “…I already did that. You got any advice about maybe what I’m supposed to do with this thing, or better yet, where the next orb is?” “Canoe north to the ice cave!” 

Eff that kid. We’re going back to Elfland.

We get to the castle, and all the elves are about as useless as the wizards. “The prince is awake!” “I feel fine now!” “This room is locked with the mysterious KEY!” No, it’s not. I already got that key and ransacked that room. I go in again, just to make sure, and yes, every treasure box is empty. I head into town to see what’s going on there, and some kid tells me something about something in the desert below the cresent and “use the floater!” I don’t know what desert he’s talking about, but I did see a teensy patch of sand while I was sailing over there, so I head for that.

Dundundundun DUN DUNNNNNNNN! The floater somehow raises an airship out of the sand. I get in. 

Just like that, I’m flying north to the other continent. Wheeeee! However, this stupid thing won’t let me land anywhere close to the town I want to go to, so I fly around for awhile looking for some kind of airport. I finally find the teensiest stretch of empty grass over by a castle and make for the castle, slightly nervous about what could be lurking in the woods I have to go through.

The first terrifying thing to attack me is a hydra. “Really? A hydra? I’ve been killing you idiots on the last continent for days now. Go away!” We kill it, we move along. Then a couple of sphinxes pop up. We kill those pretty easily, too. But at least they’re something different. Next!? 

Along comes a wyvern. Now, I would be scared, except this wyvern looks like that pokemon dragon, if he were to lose weight and get frostbite. 

 = 

We make it to the castle pretty much unscathed and go inside. Some wizard is all like, “If you want to take the test of courage, you need to have the crown! Go to the throne to begin!” I check my inventory and sure enough, I already have the crown. So I head to the throne. 

Immediately I realize I should have saved before starting this. I am in some kind of horrible castle maze, and I have to take these horrible teleporters to get through it, and the same horrible castle music keeps starting up over and over again every time I take a teleporter.

I fight some medusas who aren’t too terrifying, a red version of the pokemon dragon, and some ZomBULLs. I have to say, the ZomBULLs are pretty BA. Zombie minotaurs, come on!? Now I feel like a real adventurer! At some point we also get a ZombieD, which, of course, can be none other than a zombie dragon. Awesome.

While I was trying to find a picture of aforementioned BA zombie dragon, I came across this awesome thing, which I was so psyched about, I decided to share.

So anyway, we get to a room with a treasure chest, finally, and stepping up to it we fight a Mudgol.

He kind of looks like he wants to rip my face off, but we kill him and are rewarded with a Zeus sword.

Now, this isn’t even in my notes anywhere. I can only assume a Zeus sword is way more BA than a lame fire sword, but who knows? I decide not to equip it just yet, and hold on to it while I teleport my way out of this horrible place.

I keep going, and finally, a swarm of red gargoyles attack. Pretty sure gargoyles have not been a problem for me in the past, so I start wailing on them. 

Oh, ho, dear reader! Guess what? These red gargoyles cast FIR2 on all my guys… six times. We are all dead.

Yep. Knew I should have saved before going in there.

Final Fantasy (Wii Virtual Console) - Day 24 - “I hate mages in every game.”

We are all alive, rested up, and stocked up on potions. Back into the ice cave we go. At least, I’m hoping it’s the ice cave. Otherwise, why am I wandering around in this place dying all the time?

We get to the entrance and I decide to use a cabin to heal up before heading inside. “HP recovered! Would you like to save?” Whaaaaa? I can save in a cabin!? This is probably the most magical thing that has ever happened to me in this game. “Yes!” I yell, but only in my head, because crazy people yell things out loud at video games, not me, “Yes, I would like to save!” 

In we go.

The first two levels are the same garbage, we kill everything no problem. The third level, we run into a FrGiant and some FrWolves. And while I like to think that they are a clan of furries, I’m pretty sure that they are Frost Giants and Frost Wolves, thus confirming that we are, indeed, in the ice cave. Excellent. We continue into the room of treasure. Three treasure chests, surrounded by a bunch of weird fairy circles. (This is not that room, this is a room we come to later, but you can see the fairy circle in this one. Imagine that, but like, times ten.)

I can get to two of the treasures without touching the fairy circle, so I go to those first. At the first one, we are attacked by two mages, who like like wights if a five-year-old were to draw them. 

Seriously, that picture is way better than they actually look in-game. They look like a bunch of white scribbles.

So I’m like, whatever, I can handle a couple of white scribbles. So we start punching them, and one of them casts RUB. 

“Rub? What does that mean? Is that like… wait, what does that say? Erase? ERASE!?”

Yeah, that’s right, HANK just got erased out of existence by a mage. The next one does the same thing to Yela. That’s ok, Derp kills pretty much everything in one hit, I’m sure he can kill one, and then the two of them only have one more to contend with. We can handle this.

Derp punches a mage in the face, and he doesn’t die. Instead, he RUBs Derp right out of existence. “Run, Hobo, run!” His back is turned, he’s ready to go, when the cowardly mages punch him in the back of the head for about a million points of damage, and there you have it. We died trying just like we said we would.

However, to my shock and surprise, we all respawn right outside of the ice cave with full health. “How…?” Oh, right. That cabin. Ok, new tactic. Run from sorcerers AND mages.

We head back in, same boring stuff, run from those bad guys, boring boring boring. We get the first treasure, it contains cloth. Useless. The second treasure has a flame sword, which I already have on. Useless. There is no way to get to the third treasure without stepping into the fairy lights, but I’ve explored everywhere else there is to explore in this cave, so I’m ready. I step in… and it turns out that it’s a portal to a tiny little room somewhere else in this cave that I didn’t know existed. Great. Now I don’t even know how to get out if I’m in trouble. 

We start fighting some stuff and find some stairs and go down to another part of the cave full of rooms full of treasure chests full of money. We kill some more stuff and go into another part of the cave with the room pictured above. Three treasures and a fairy lights. I take the treasures, nothing spectacular, and then I have a decision to make. Go into the fairy lights, or take the stairs outside. The fairy lights kind of made me want to die last time, so I opt for the stairs. 

The stairs take me back outside to the entrance of the cave.

Sigh. Maybe tomorrow we’ll try for that orb again.

Final Fantasy (Wii Virtual Console) - Day 23 - “Sorcerers cannot defeat me! Oh… I guess they can.”

So, it’s been awhile since my last venture into… what is this world called? I don’t know if I ever even knew. I’m just going to call it the Republic of Derp.

So, it’s been awhile since my last venture into the Republic of Derp. I load it up and discover we’re all sitting in Pirate Town. Why? I can’t remember. I head out to the dock to check on my ship, and it’s not there. Where did I leave it? What am I doing? I vaguely remember defeating some kind of volcano, collecting the second orb, and now I’m supposed to be going to some kind of ice place, right? I guess I’ll just start walking around and see what turns up.

I head east-y and find my ship. Yay! At least I didn’t park too far away. I keep walking, though, figuring I probably parked there on purpose. After a couple of dead ends, I stumble upon a cave and go in.

There’s a couple of wizards, a couple of geists, no biggie. The real challenge so far has been remembering controls (what two stupid buttons do I push to get the map up, again?) and deciphering my pages of cryptic notes. They say things like “Derp. Iron Armor 24:23. Steel Armor 34:35”  I have no idea what these mean, but I’m guessing Steel Armor is better than Iron. They also say things like, “Hobo. Gloves, Cap, Silver Bracelet.” Is that what he’s wearing? Is that all? What is going ON here?

Whatever, I’ll figure that out when I find a new outfit. For now, let’s just kill some stuff and see how far we can get into this cave. Derp and HANK level up.

Nothing terrifying on the first floor, and nothing but dead ends and some stairs, so we head down to the next one. Three purple sorcerers appear. One of them casts “Trance” on everyone. It is ineffective. I guess they’re not into raves. The next one tries the same thing, with the same result. The third one punches Derp for a terrifying three points of damage. Hahaha! Sorcerers cannot defeat me! We start punching them back. Derp kills one, Hobo does a good chunk of damage, and then one of them attacks Yela.

Slain.

What!? Ok, ok, that’s not a big deal. Yela’s pretty pathetic at everything, from what I remember, and we’ve already killed a sorcerer, so let’s just keep going. HANK punches one and does a little damage. Then one of them attacks HANK. Slain. 

We run.

Ok, so now we just have to fight our way back to town so everyone can be revived. We run from some Cocatrices (what is the plural of that?) and a mummy, and make it out of the cave ok. Everything else on the way back to town I know Derp and Hobo can handle, but we end up running from a lot of stuff anyway, just because those stupid piranhas are really annoying. Hobo levels up. WHY ARE YOU SO BAD AT EVERYTHING, YELA!? GAWD! We make it back to town, and I vaguely remember camping out here because it’s close, and more importantly, it’s cheap. Although at this point I have almost 200,000 currency, so what does it even matter?

Ok. Ok. We need a game plan. We are just going to run from sorcerers and try to kick everyone else’s ass. That should work. We are GETTING that third orb today, or we are going to die trying.

Final Fantasy (Wii Virtual Console) - Day 22 - “Step 1: Stock store with healing potions. Step 2: Sell healing potions at ridiculous markup to idiot adventurers. Step 3: ??? Step 4: Profit.”

I wake up at the inn and head to the store to get myself back up to 99 healing potions before heading out. During my time away from this game, I’ve had the genius brainstorm that actually, I didn’t need to defeat that dragon to get into the chest. Once I successfully ran away from him, I was standing right next to it. I’m the dumbest treasure hunter alive.

So we head back to the volcano, but we don’t even get halfway up the river before we are starting to get low on health. Ok, new plan. Another nap, and then this time run away from everything until you get to the bottom of the volcano. This plan logically makes perfect sense to me, but is very counterintuitive. I feel like I should be killing everything to get the xps. But if I do that, it’s going to be another four levels before I can get down there and take out that dragon. We stick to the plan.

Down at the bottom of the volcano, I decide to check out the NE, NW, SW and SE corners of this compass map before heading back to the dragon. To my surprise, when I get down the SW one, there is a room with an orb in it.

Ok.

So that dragon that killed half my party… wasn’t even the boss? How is that even possible!? Am I truly THAT bad at this game? 

Whatevs. I’ll deal with my insecurities later. Right now, I’m busy using my healing potions before continuing further into this room, because whatever this boss is, I’m killing it RIGHT. NOW.

The boss turns out to be Kary. 

=/=

What IS that hideous octopus/anemone thing with three swords? Whatever. It has my orbs, so it has to die. I start attacking it. Hobo dies, Yela dies, and I don’t really care, because even if the entire party dies, all I’ve done is run to the bottom of the volcano while running away from everything. A slight pain in the butt, but I’m not concerned about losing my progress. I just punch it with everything I’ve got, and it dies. It’s very anticlimactic. I don’t even level up. I restore the orb, take the teleporter up to town, and decide that I’m going back in for that dragon. Vengeance will be mine.

We do the same thing this time… stock up to 99 healing potions, and head into the volcano, running from everything. Before attacking the dragon, I refill everyone’s health with the potions. We attack. The dragon gets one fire spell in on Derp, which isn’t much of a big deal because he’s got so much health, and then he’s dead. 

…

Really? That’s what I was afraid of? 

Stupid dragon.

Derp gets a fire armor piece and we head back out. We decide to take the stairs up, rather than the teleporter, in order to get all the xps we’ve been missing out on by running away from everything. The only thing we fight that is even SLIGHTLY interesting is a Cerebus… but he just looks like a red mewtwo.

We kill everything just fine and get back to town. We stock back up to 99 healing potions, sell our useless loot, and then I remember I haven’t talked to anyone in town yet. Surely they are all anxiously awaiting their chances to praise me for being awesome!

They’re not. The 12 wizards say the same boring things, the pink-haired girl is an idiot, and the pink-haired boy says to me something like, “I’ve been searching for years for the floater! Canoe north to the ice cave!” It takes me several minutes to figure out wtf this gibberish means, and then I realize that he wants me to go do the opposite of what I just did, which is the volcano. Eff that noise. I’m going to bed.

Taking a break for a few days…

Vacation time is over, and I’m building a massive bio-dome in minecraft, so I’m taking a mini-FF break. Don’t worry, it won’t last long.

Final Fantasy (Wii Virtual Console) - Day 21 - “Run, Yela, Run!”

My plan, when I started playing today, was not to get to the bottom of the volcano dungeon (because somehow, my genius brain has finally figured out that that’s what these SUCs are… dungeons), but just to clear out another level, maybe two. However, I am kicking so much butt that I get several levels farther in than that. The problem, however, is that I’ve had to be VERY liberal with the healing potions, and the fact that there’s lava everywhere that I have to walk on. It hurts. Surprisingly enough, walking on lava is painful.

The “roomful of rooms” thing turns out to be very misleading. It doesn’t look like I can actually get into most of these rooms. I think they’re just walls or something, this time. But anyway, I get several levels down, not fighting anything too crazy. Most of the time it seems to be a Wizard Ogre, a grape Ogre, and two hyenas. I like to think the ogres travel in pairs with their dogs. 

So after several levels of fighting and after depleting half my potion stash, and after leveling up AGAIN (19 now), I get to what I THINK might be the bottom. It’s sort of set up like a compass. I’m in the middle, and there’s hallways up, down, left, right, and all four diagonals. I go up first, and find a super sweet Ice Sword and Flame Shield in the room at the top. Then I go bottom, nothing. Then I go right, still nothing. Then I go left and have to kill a lot of baddies. This room has one treasure chest surrounded by candles. I’m thinking that I was SO SURE that the volcano vampire or whatever would be here, but it looks like it’s just another room. I guess I’ll have to explore the diagonals. I’m hoping to find the boss soon, because I don’t really have that many potions left, and I’m starting to worry about being able to make it back to the top. I’m kind of counting on there being one of those teleportation things at the end of this dungeon, like the last one, which I know is kind of stupid of me. If there isn’t one, I’m probably screwed.

I approach the treasure chest and get attacked… no surprise there. What IS a surprise, though, is that I get attacked by a dragon. I don’t think it was actually called a dragon… I forget what it was called… but it was most definitely a dragon.

At this point, I’m not really sure what to do. I mean… yes, it’s a dragon, but I’ve killed everything else in here just fine, so I can probably take it. And I really want to see what’s in that treasure chest. So I start attacking him.

My guys are getting in pretty decent hits, and I have Yela do a healing spell just in case. Then the dragon attacks. He casts some horrifying fire spell which knocks out over half of everyone’s health. Then it’s time for the second attack. I’m hoping that my guys will kill him before he gets a chance to cast another spell, but fakeout! He doesn’t wait until we’re done with our turns before he takes his. Another fire spell, and Derp and HANK are dead. 

I tell Hobo and Yela to run, realizing that if this dragon attacks us once more before we have a chance to run, we are all dead, and everything I’ve done today is erased. I’m already considering ragequitting.

Luckily, Yela finally has figured out how to run, and we get the eff out of there. I use a crapton of healing potions on them, and start making my way to the top of the volcano so I can use a tent and save my game before making the trek back to the clinic in town.

The problems now are thus: Hobo and Yela suck at fighting. We are at the bottom of a lava-filled volcano. We can’t use tents until we get out of the volcano. I am not sure I remember how to get out of the volcano.

We start going anyway, because if I don’t get up there and this whole day gets erased, I’m going to be the rageingest nerd ever. (Shut up, it is so a word. It’s a word ‘cause I said it. That’s how words get invented, ‘cause people say them, and then other people say them.)

We get attacked a surprisingly few amount of times. We do a really great job of running away. I use tons more potions due to all the lava. We are down to about 13 potions from 99 at the start of today’s adventures. Finally, finally, after getting lost only once, we make it out of the volcano. We rest in a cabin, and save the game. Now I’m feeling good. Even if I die on the way back to town, all I have to do is try again from the volcano.

We make it back to town without much incident, and revive Derp and HANK. We are very, very relieved. We stay at the inn and quit for the day, because that dragon stressed us out, man. 

Final Fantasy (Wii Virtual Console) - Day 20 - “That ballerina is going to eat our faces.”

We go back to the volcano, prepared this time, and determined to clear out the maze level. Nothing too exciting happens in there, except for a couple of wtf kind of attacks. The first is in a room full of about 15 treasure chests… we get attacked by a giant herd of red gargoyles. I’m not too worried about it… gargoyles are old news. But then I realize that I’m hitting them for a tiny fraction of my normal amount of damage, and that this most likely means they are going to slaughter me mercilessly. We run. None of the treasure was worth it.

We also get attacked by a Grey W. I don’t know wtf this thing is, but it looks like the party slug.

=

But without all the party, of course.

What’s the deal with this guy? What’s a Grey W? I guess the W might stand for worm, but this thing is definitely not grey.

The other thing is on the river… it’s called an Ocho.

I couldn’t find the actual game 8-bit picture… it kept bringing up Final Fantasy 8 stuff, but here’s what it is:

No, that is not some craaazy artist interpretation, that’s what it looks like. A face-eating plant with a petal tutu. 

W. t. f.

At any rate, we are successful in clearing out the maze level, and even though we are not prepared, we go downstairs to have a little look-see at what’s coming next. It looks like another cavern full of rooms. Joy. 

We go back to town (somehow get lost on the way there…) rest up, and buy as many potions as we can carry. Tomorrow… we conquer the volcano.

Final Fantasy (Wii Virtual Console) - Day 19 - “O! for a muse of fire.”

Upon acquisition of my canoe, I decide to do some more sailing aimlessly. Or, in this case, canoeing aimlessly. I doubt I’m ready to tackle the volcano just yet, so I figure I’ll explore the area for awhile. 

On the river, I mostly get attacked by CARIBEs… I don’t know what they’re SUPPOSED to be, but they look like piranhas with long, flowing mermaid hair.

We also get attacked by hydras (which doesn’t make any sense… I feel like hydras should live in oceans, not rivers) and, to my undying delight, GATORs.

It’s like Final Fantasy’s gone hick on me.

I continue wandering around aimlessly, and accidentally stumble into Melmond, which is ok, because I could use a nap. I immediately continue on my way, because even though Melmond was just a really nice, unexpected respite, I still hate it’s guts.

I then proceed to accidentally find the volcano.

Well shoot. I’m here, I might as well go inside and check it out.

The first level is full of lava which hurts me when I walk across it, but I have to walk across it to get to the stairs to go down to the next level. Fan. Tastic.

The second level seems to be basically a giant maze full of things that cast horribly painful fire spells on me. After opening a couple of treasure chests, I am terribly low on life and using a lot of healing spells, and I decide that this just isn’t going to happen today. 

We did level up, though. I think we are level 18 now. It’s pretty ridiculous. 

Final Fantasy (Wii Virtual Console) - Day 18 - “You can do it! 12 sages can help.”

We went back into the SUC 2.0, and started clearing out the second to bottom level. We found exactly one unexplored room full of three treasure chests. We expect them to be guarded by EARTHs. We get to the first one… no baddies. And a cabin in the treasure chest. We get to the second one… BLAMMO! Attacked by an ogre, two hyenas (aka mewtwos) and one WzOGRE. Wise ogre? Peeing ogre? Ohhhhh… wizard ogre, probably. Check him out, casting evasion spells like a ninny. We kill him. He punches pretty good, but it’s really no big deal, I get ready to open the treasure… and accidentally walk one square to the left. O. M. G. This means I have to kill those guys all over again, and then probably more guys to get to the THIRD treasure. Sure enough, when I get back in front of the second chest, the same guys attack me. Sigh. Now I’m out of healing spells. Total score, though, the chest has an iron shield in it. Sweet! I guess it was worth it! I use a bunch of potions and heal up before heading to the third chest. Good thing I did, this one is guarded by the same guys. We get through it ok, but we still have one level to go.

We find the stairs and go down. I’m getting down to like, 40 healing potions (from 60) and am hoping that I have enough to finish out this SUC. I so, so, so do not want to come back here.

At this point, something magical happens. Things start running away from US. What? This is crazy! I was sure, at this point, that this was going to be super awesome. As it turns out, after more and more things ran away from us, it was just annoying. I’d already told my guys to attack that guy, and now he’s gone, and my guy is left punching air and accomplishing nothing. Why are we so fearsome?

We get back to town… I still have no idea what this town is called, and we rest up before heading to Melmond to restock potions. That’s a success, and though I feel like this might be a good place to stop for the night, I’ve decided I really want to figure out where the next town is, first. 

I start sailing southwardy, following the coastline, looking for more ports, since that guy told me there were none in the north. 

I sail past a south port to Melmond, which I suspect will be useful later. I really hate Melmond, it has a terrible layout and is incredibly obnoxious to navigate. Nevertheless, it’s been very useful. 

I keep sailing and find a new port that I’ve never been to. I dock my boat, and start exploring. I am attacked by three centipedes, which are pretty terrifying. They’re punching me pretty good, and I’m starting to wonder if maybe I’m not supposed to be here yet. One of them runs away, I defeat the other two, and I move on a little bit. Then I am attacked by six cobras and a scorpion, so now I’m feeling pretty sure that I am, in fact, supposed to be here. Cobras and scorpions are old news.

I see a town across the river, and make my way over. Again, no idea what this town is named. However, it is a very nice town, with flowers and an easy to navigate layout. This city planner knew what he was doing. There are only two pink-haired people wandering town… I can only assume they are brother and sister. The boy says something useless, but the girl says something like, “You can do it, Light Warriors!” Awwww, this town is already feeling a thousand times more welcoming than any town I’ve been to before. They don’t ask me to do anything for them, they’re just hanging out, living their lives. 

Over on the right side of town, I notice a path through the trees. I take it. There is a circle of wizards. I start talking to them. They’re all like, “We’re the 12 sages. The more orbs you recover, the more hints we’ll give you! There are four orbs! Have a canoe and go to the volcano!” 

What?

I check out the shops and buy some silver gauntlets, a couple of other useful armor pieces, and a crapload of magic before heading to the inn for the night. No way am I seeking out this volcano tonight. It’s sure to be full of fire horses , and I am so not ready for that.

Final Fantasy (Wii Virtual Console) - Day 17 - “We are registered for ‘saving the world’ gifts at Target and Bed, Bath, and Beyond.”

Alright! We are rested up and ready to tackle SUC 2.0 once and for all! (Deja vu?) We head down, everything’s going pretty well. We get up to the switch plate and I use the magic rod… to smash in the thing over the door, apparently. Really? Really??? None of the weapons I have… the silver sword, the dragon sword, the power staff… none of these could smash in the floor plate, but the “rod” could? There is something seriously wrong with this scenario. I think that sage was messing with me. I probably should have tried just pushing it.

Anyway, we get through and go down a level, and I fight some stuff and we find some more useless treasure, and we fight a sphinx, and no biggie. Nothing terribly exciting. Then we find another stairway down. How many levels does this place have? I immediately turn around, deciding that I’m going to explore the rest of this level before moving on. After a few steps, I turn BACK around, deciding that I don’t even care what’s in the rest of this place, I just want to get to the bottom. I will explore my way back up afterwards. I go downstairs, I start running around killing stuff. I find a room.

It doesn’t LOOK like there’s a guy in it. It just looks like a red crystal ball. Guess who’s psyched! I am soooooo getting my earth orb back! Just like Stella and her groove. I’m just that topical, baby.

And then this happens:

Wait… whaaaa? Before I even have time to comprehend the fact that a giant dead skeleton thing was living in that tiny orb, he is attacking me.

This guy… knows so much magic. He’s casting ice and… ice2… I don’t know, all kinds of spells, and every time he does it, my guys almost die. They’re down to like, 20 points of health or something. Yela’s got a few “heal all” type spells, but they don’t heal for that much, so half my guys are punching, the other half are throwing healing potions all over the place. I get to a point where I realize that… crap… one more hit, and that’s it. I really, REALLY don’t want to have to do this over again. And then suddenly… BAM! The lich is dead! Ding dong the lich is dead!

There doesn’t appear to be any treasure in this room…

but my team is really kind of getting too weak to fight their way back out. I mean, I think we could make it, we still have a lot of potions… but that is going to be a LOT of work. I get ready to turn around and leave… and then I think maybe I’ll just check out the throne real quick. I really feel like I should have gotten some treasure for that. You know, other than reviving one of the four orbs. 

Maaaaaaagic! When I get to the throne, it teleports me back out to the entrance of the cave. Suh-weet. I go back to town expecting some sort of parade or ceremony… or at least a certificate of saving the world. Instead… everyone is still talking about the same useless garbage they were talking about before I saved the town. Except for one guy who’s like, “Now the earth should heal!”

What.

I saved the WORLD. Give me a free night at the inn or SOMETHING. But I guess the economy halts for no man, not even Light Heroes. We get a room for the night. The plan for next time is to finish exploring SUC 2.0 (deja vu?) and then I guess to try and figure out where to go next. No one seems to be giving me any hints. I guess I’m just going to sail around some more? Maybe the buried airship is buried in the SUC 2.0? I just don’t know.